paper and benz.

So today, I was just sitting in the couch when finally I realized I'm actually 21! I AM TWENTY ONE! Then I saw the preview for the hills, and realize that Lauren is actually around my age. 23ish. And I said, Damn, they actually look older than I thought. And they're actually doing something in their life, well more than what I'm doing right now. I told myself this, "I should be acting my age." Then a question popped into my head, "What should a 21 year old actually be doing?"

My assessment:

I go to school, I'm getting my degree and I'm actually proud that I'm doing it. and it's not a joke that I'm a microbiology major. It's fucking hard and I'm not giving the best with my school. and i pass all my classes with descent grades, not just descent, good grades! not to brag or anything, (what the hell do I care what other people think? If i brag or not?! it's my fucking blog?!!! shit!) so anyways, what more IF I GIVE MY BEST SHOT?! i should probably be some fucking cumlaude of some shit? So I TOLD MYSELF, "hey, you know, you passed your classes without trying, SO FOR A CHANGE, TRY FOR FUCKING SAKE!" then I wrote on a piece of paper and said, "YOU! IF YOU GRADUATE WITH HONORS, OR YOU KNOW JUST GRADUATE AND YOU THINK YOU HELLA DESERVE IT, THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS GET YOURSELF A FUCKIN' MERCEDES BENZ!" then I folded it, and put it in my keepsake, and eventually I will forget about it till I find it next time, and hopefully i would graduate with flying colors, I would find that paper and remind myself to buy a mercedes benz!

I work.

I take care of myself.

I dress nice, maybe not as mature yet, but getting there. Not enough mula to change all my wardrobe, but I'm getting there.

I have a good looking boyfriend, who has a career of his own. that loves me, and me loves him. whose just a little bit girly, hahaha. I'm the boy. but you know, nothing gets better than that. I still wear the make up. lol.

I have friends.

I have family that supports me. Well you know.............. they're there for advices and some mula to help me.

I think I'm perfectly fine with my neurological thinking. just a little bit extreme on both sides.

I'm responsible for my actions, what I say and actually being responsible with my life. Well eversince, i've been.

I budget.

I enjoy everything that I have and sometimes wish and daydream.

THEN. I said, what else is missing?

I got up and turned off the T.V. and said, "fuck it, my life is not based on MTV! I have fun, and the most important part is I know what i want in life. and I'm having fun while doing it. FUCK HILLS."

opened a bag of chips and went on with my life, but this time with just a little bit of ATTITUDE. postive attitude.

The take home message is: don't envy people's life. instead of envy-ing them, you should turn that attitude towards your life so you could focus more on your life rather than wasting your time envying them. analyzing what they have that you don't. It's not easy doing that, and sometime you just can't help it. It's natural. Why else do you have blogs and myspace, to snitch around and see and brag about everything else about your life and their lives. Just stay on the ground and stay put, trust me, your life is better than anyone else's.