Coz' I'm the Effin best!

this will be my song for the 2009 and it's dedicated to ME. because I'm the fuckin' best, get it straight. If you don't agree, deal with it... don't care, don't wanna care, I COULD CARE LESS!

P.S.

this will be my first dance wedding song with all the profanity and shit in it. lol. Whoever the groom or "bride", we'll get jiggy with this one. OH YEASSHHHTTT. Then we'll change it to, "COZ WE'RE THE EFFIN BEST...." Then do some dirty moves in front of all 9000 guests!!! oh yes baby, yes!!!hahahhaa





-one day I will look onto this blog, and will laugh my ass off. lol.

Birthday girl

I AM 22 IN TWO WEEKS! ahhh. not fun, not fun, not fun at all. I FEEL OLD! eeeekkkk. I know people would say it's not bad... BUTTT BUTT. BUTTT...

OKAY... this is why I kinda dread turning 22. I feel like I have not done anything at all. Before, when I was young, when you say your 22, you already did something, have somehting, or doing or you have something...... but in reality, right now.... I have nothing... Well except for my gorgeous friends whom I think are the most awesomest friend ever. I could have never asked for anyone else but them...

But you know, there's still that side of me that yearns for some goals and achievement in life.

1.) GRADUATEEEEEE!!! I want to graduate, but there are some circumstances that are not letting me to.
2.) I'm broke............... I want money. Graduating and finding a job would surely help. Recession is not helping. Please economy drink your medicine and your airborn, get better and be lively again. Coz I love you, and a lot of people needs you.
3.) A car. But I can't drive for the love of God. I'd rather stay alive and just yearn to drive... BUT ONE DAY... SOMEDAY..... I WILL.... A white sexy car will do for me.
4.) Eat and Travel, I want to eat and travel! I want to go everywhere! I swearrrr with or without anyone. I will climb the machu pichu, Eat at the streets of rome and greece. have the sand run through my fingers, wake up right next a big island. I DON'T KNOW. ANYWHERE, ANYTHING WILL DO. I WANT TO TRAVEL AND BE A SAVAGE!
5.) LOVEEEEE. welll..... I am. I am alway. will always and will for surely love till i can't anymore.


I'm having identity crisis. I know it's not that time, It should be around 25 and you'll realize in life of what you really want, and what you are. But I'm having it prematurely. I'm having it early on in life at 21 before turning 22 in 2 weeks. Lately I have been going back to being childish, welllllllllll.... I'm immature no matter what anyways. Maybe even if I'm 79 I will still act like I'm 12 or something. I'm a kid at heart no matter what, but at this time of "now" I'm looking for myself. I know it's early, but like what I said, I'm having it prematurely. I wanna know what I want, I wanna know what I wanna do.

Right now, there's only one thing that I know I want, don't wanna loose and I'm really scared of not having...... That's all for now. Take it one step at a time, and no matter what this time, I'm not letting it go.

22 in two weeks. NOTE TO MY FUTURE SELF: hi, I just want you to know that no matter what, full fill your dreams, your goals and stop telling yourself the "what ifss" JUST DO IT. DON'T HESITATE, JUST DO IT. :)

opened once -jeff buckley.

I once was open
And one with a travelling heart
I loved this sweet guy

Just like the fiction
Rushing in your riverbed
Arise like applause in my head

And in the half-light
Where we both stand
This is the half-light
See me as I am

Just like the ocean
Always in love with the moon
It's overflowing now
Inside you

We fly right over
The minds of so many in pain
We are the smile of light that brings them rain

In the half light
Where we both stand
In the half light
You saw me as I am

I am a railroad track abandoned
With the sunset
Forgetting
I ever happened
That I ever happened.



love the lyrics. He's such a genius. youtube it, google it. loves it!

I can make it through the rain.

and I'm strong enough to mend.
Life is very very very short. I'll take risk, I will take the pain, enjoy it for it does make me better.
Criticism are something I have to turn out into positive note.

I love life. though sometimes it's so unfair, I just wanna rise to the challenge. I don't know if what I'm doing is right or wrong, I just wanna do what makes me happy. I have life to live, and that's only once.

I promise from this day on,
I will take risk.

Starting all over again

This time let's do it right, sweet child. Let's do it right. Much has been said, this time let's make it and hold on.
-bamboo


Song of the day. On repeat. <3

Happy Mothers Day Ma.

If there's one thing I want right now is you. If God ask me one thing, it would be you. I would trade 9000 billion dollars to be with you at least for just one day. I have so many things to ask, too many questions that I have never asked, and wandered. Things I wanna do with you, and tell you.
It's hard, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be righteous, I'm trying to do the right thing, and hopefully sometimes commit mistakes to learn things out of text book. I'm trying hard in school, I wanna be something at least, and I want to be able someday find you.
I don't know how to live with you anymore, I forgot your voice, I forgot you. but you are never forgotten. You're always with me. Everyday, my respect for you grows deeper. I just don't know how the hell you did it. LIFE. I don't know how you survived it. Happy mothers day ma. You will always be with me till the end. I wanna be like you someday, "YOU DON'T GIVE A FCK...THE WAY YOU WEAR YOUR WHITE KEDS. AND WALK LIKE YOU'VE NEVER WALK. CRY LIKE NO BODY IS AROUND AND LIVE AND LOVE FOR SOMEONE YOU TRULY CARES." I miss you. A lot.
I wish you're there to play the piano, and sing lively. Someday ma, we'll see each other.

happy mothers day ma.

Wish You Were Here - Incubus

And sometimes when all curve balls are being thrown at you, when you're on the ground, when you think you can't do it anymore, when eveything just doesnt make sense, all you can do is just breath. Breath. Keep breathing and tomorrow will come soon enough.