For thee first time in a very long time, I am going home to the motherland. 11 years. Wow. So long. I am scared and happy at the same time. For the first time, I am going to visit my mom's grave. So many times in a day, I always imagine what it would be like standing at her grave. What it would be like seeing her; everytime I stop and catch myself tearing up.
Leaving Philippines was one of the most traumatic event of my life, thus standing there will be my defining moment of this trip. I have this guilt inside me that's been brewing inside:
-I did not go home for my mom's funeral.
-I did not try hard or did not try at all communicating with her. Just took her for granted.
-Sometimes i think that I was not a good daughter to her when she was living.
I have somany questions, I wanted to say so many things, I wanna say sorry and my list goes on.
I feel like everytime I will breakdown. But I'm lucky coz I know, Jude will be there. I am happy because finally I am going to show my mom what kind of woman I turned out to be. I'm gonna bring my little Bonita to her.
It will be mixed emotions I am 100% sure.
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