quiet time

I think it's a good time to have a quiet time right now.  10:01 pm is my quiet time.

Things in my head:

-fuck, I'm going to wake up early tomorrow.
-I already want the day over tomorrow already. If that made sense at all.
-I think too much, and it consumes my good vibes. I should just stop thinking.
-I need to exercise, even if it is just 30 minutes, maybe after this.
-communicate and shit.
-too much profanity, I should stop. Fuck.
-I need to start writing with sense again. Outside of my usual topic, better yet, I should start tutorial videos again.
-I should start that huh?
-How to improve myself:
    1. start by not being lazy.
         a. I do that by, well, start doing things... like?
            i. doing more things..............................
-that is a whole lot of writing in itself. Different story.

I don't know anymore.

quiet time over.

True love

When he says: "let's just buy a house with field farm in Gilroy, and tend some strawberries sell at at the farmers..." I immidiately said, "yes". In a heartbeat.  

blabber nagging mouth.

sometimes I don't even know how Jude gets to stand and listen with what my head is thinking out loud. I complain a lot--in my head most of the time. But if it's just Jude and I at home, I rant non stop. I think he got use to it. Then when I get mad and ask him if he's even listening to me, his reply will be... "yes babe, I am." Then he repeats what I just said. hahaha. I think he doesn't even hear me out sometimes, it just became an habit to repeat after me. Look after me. Feed me. Caress me. Wake me. All those.

I'm just lucky to have him by my side all the time.

Today, I rant about some stupid things.


The end.

100%

I am almost at 100%. I am planning to start working out again, after a long haitus of potato couching. I have been sick for quite sometime now. Struggle.

So

So... Check. Checkkk. Checkkkkk checkkk checkk check check check check check checkkkk check check and checkkk CHECKKKKKKK!!! 

Date someone totally wrong for me. Chheeeckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!

granny

Every time I am at work, or doing something so random, I think of things to write on my blog. I just go, "That's a good topic to write about." Then I go home and be like, what was I going to write about?

WRITERS BLOCK. not that I'm saying, I am a writer, or I claim to be a good one. I write for fun, but at this age, 26, I am forgetting so much. So forgetful at this age. I forget what I ate for breakfast, what I did this morning, if I showered, if.....

That being said, I wanting to buy a laptop just to have a keyboard. So I bought one this Thanksgiving so I can start blogging again. I get home and be like... what am I going to write on this baby? well.... I should start writing my thoughts on paper before I become a granny.

amused

I sometimes find myself in awe in the way my husband sees life in general. I see things black and white for the most part. Though I would like to think other wise, but compare to him, I see things black or white. It just amuses me that he see things the way he sees it. The beauty of it is, he doesn't try at all to impress me or anyone, it's just the way he is. I am thankful that that's the way he see the world. Because if I married a person of the same thinker as I am... we would probably never lasted for more than this long. I mean we haven't been married for that long, but knowing myself, I would have not lasted and stayed "infatuated--inlove--into it--whatever you wanna call it" in this relationship. *knock on wood*

 For one thing, he thought me how to use less of my pride. I am a prideful being, it's one of my deadly sin. I never back down on anything even though it kills me. Through out the entire time, when we argue, "I am never wrong." Even though it's my fault, my pride would get in the way and I'll never admit that it was ever my fault. He'll even say "sorry", so just he could fix things by the end of the day. I sometimes get mad even more because well, one thing, my pride got hurt because he said sorry first and second, I get mad at myself for not saying sorry because of my pride. it's an oxymoron on my part. But lately, I have overcome my sinful ways. I have learned to overcome this pride thing. I am so humbled just the mere presence of him. I could finally say "sorry," or "it's my fault" or just admitting things to myself the things that needed to be admitted.

 He tells me truth, no sugar coat, no round-abouts, no beating around the bush. And that's exactly what I need. I think that's everybody needs. Truth. When I am bitchy, he tells me. When I am irritating, he tells me. When I am overacting on things, he tells me... which for the most part, I am always over acting (I am a girl after all) and he tells me. I calmed down. I over think, and he puts things on perspective for me. I have so many demons, SO MUCH, and he helps me fight them. I've never met a person like him, seriously. He is seriously the true definition of yang, on yin-yang stuff. I'm the yang, and he's my yin. He thinks very simple, but there's so much depth and thoughtful. He's the kind of person that never aggravate things that are not suppose to be aggravated. If he hasn't been on my side, I would probably sent my demons and myself to hell already. Burned bridges with friends, fought with families and isolated myself in the society. He just clears things up for me in absolute way.

 It just amazes me that he exist. I would see black and he would see rainbow. I, for the most part, is a negative person, I think of the worst case scenario always. I can't help it. Jude brings the positive side of me. I'm learning on seeing things the way he sees it. Every time I am on a predicament, and I start over analyzing, thinking, etc. I try to put myself on his shoes and think "what would he say now." And immediately, I would calm down. He's just positive source of life for me. And I hope one day, I would see things the way he sees things. Colorful.