Life together with humans, it evolves. Back then life is so simple. So straight forward. But now everything seems to matter. Its fckin ridiculous. Is it physics and law of gravity? Is there any formula written somewhere where you can consult a damn manual or a backspace to undo things? A tab key to skip something? How do u know what is what? And what is God will? How do u know if its gods will? I mean no offense god but if i do something that its really suppose to be the other way and i missed it? I missed the opportunity what is the will in there? Is it suppose to be acceptance? Or the taking home measage? Or Fighting ur way back from the lost opportunity? Which one? People give u so much advice, but what does really matters? Urs or theirs? Whatttt??? Like its confusing. Its sooo confusing. My troat is stiffning and has this ball stuck in there. I know some other people have it worst but i am my own person. I van only live my life. I cant love anyones life but mine. MINE! And mine alone. Does it matter? Does it mattrr anymore? Everyone dip their feet on everyones sauce anyways. Iiiii ammmm blahh!

So u just have to take the good the bad the happy and the sad. Loves comes around it knocks u down, just get back up when it knocks u down.

Testing

my perfect guy with his perfect song.

"DI KO NA ALAM KUNG MAKAKAYA KO PA......DI BALE NALANG KAYA..... NGUNIT MAHAL KO SYA...."

Good friday, is really good.

The story behind my jasmine flowers and why I wanna get a tat of it. Growing up, my mom and I together with my kuya Jr, we would go to church and pray... Well mostly I would cry because I did not like going to church, and I did not had the patients to sit there for, to me it was a longgggggg hours of not understanding what was happening. But after church, in Philippines, there were little kids outside selling Sampaguita necklaces and stuff to us. And my mom would buy two and would put it on me and my brother. When we got home, my mom would put it on statue of Jesus and my mom would cry for some reason. I'm thinking she was happy, but back then I would think she was crazy.... SORRY MA. but now I know why and what were you going through. So anyways, growing up, Sampaguita (jasmine) symbolizes my childhood with her. I love the smell of it and it reminds me of her. When we renovated our house, we had some sampaguita plants that would crawl at th porch of ours, and every time the wind would blow, my mom would stay at the porch and sit and smoke her ciggars and would singgggggggg endlessly with her beautiful voice.

Today, Good friday, I was sitting in my room, windows close, no one was at my house, nada!!! as in no air coming in, no ventilation or anything, and sampaguita smelling scent just came out of no where. at first I was freaked out, but then I realized that it's my mom talking to me. Lately I've been catching curve balls from everyone, and I guess she knows that I need my spirit lifted up. And there you go, just like that, she did.

I want my tat something like this, but this is like an ugly version of it. It will be more elaborate when my friend finish it. But the idea is something like this...



But this is an ugly version.

Sometimes....

You just can't help but rant and rant!!! I RANTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. RANT RANT. rant. rant. and rant.

Feel like Sh... right now. people have been throwing curve balls on me. really now. I just barely wish something would magically change and stuff. But you know, I can only change that. right? a;lkdsjf...a;ldkjf!!!

rantttttttttttttttt!

My birthday is coming up. I hope universe would conspire and give me a good one.

love deeper

When you gave everything and nothing is left; love harder.
When all the sweat and blood perspire; run faster.
When you are pushed to the edge and nothing to hold on too; fall harder.
When you try harder and fail constantly; make it count.
When everything is shattering right in front of your eyes; suck it all up and put everything back into pieces.
When all the lies are punching you in the face; keep looking for the truth.
When no one believes in you; believe in yourself.
When everything's gone wrong; Breath deeper.
When you think you can't love anymore; think again.


Love deeper.